Eenie, Meenie, Miney...

This was my night: a wonderful, glorious HOUR of uninterrupted sleep, followed by multiple episodes of Super Why, bottles, and baby snuggles. Houston had decided he just was not going to sleep last night. He'd pass out in his crib and just as I would drift out of consciousness, I'd hear, "Mommmmma. Dada. Dada? WAHHHHH" in the monitor. Every half hour. To the minute. Now, at 2:00 am, I lose my normal, cordial personality and turn into something like the Incredible Hulk with turrets. Covers fly. There are groans. Swears. Tears. I'm not proud, but that's me. Sometimes hours later, in the rationality of daylight, I think back upon something that came out of my mouth and feel embarrassed or even like I was dreaming - that awful person could not be me... right? But you know the feeling. Watching the clock, feeling exhausted and realizing that you have 6 more hours, 5, 4, 3, 2 hours left? That's about when I fall into the inevitable stage of sleep that involves war dreams and cold sweat. The best sleep ever. For 2 hours.

Now here is where I have an issue. Most people can roll out of bed, drive to work, and sit in front of a computer or do some kind of "pretend" work for a portion of the day. You know what I'm talking about... you can make it through the day without a whole lot of mental effort then come home and take a nap or go to bed early. OR, an even better alternative, just call in sick. In some jobs, if you're sick, there's no replacement. Life goes on without you. In other jobs, a substitute is called in - another nurse, another cashier. Someone who's trained to do the exact same job you do - someone who might be pissed off that they are getting called on their day off, but at least someone who has some indication of what to do on the job.

And then there's teachers.

I could have called my assistant principal for a sub today. But then that would require writing sub plans. Imagine trying to tell someone you've NEVER met, who may or may not have ANY teaching experience how to do your job, with your kids whom they have also NEVER met. When you're sick, or your kids are sick, and you're not planning for a day off, writing sub plans SUCK. I'm not the kind of teacher who can leave a schedule that looks like: 9:00 - Math, 10:00 - Science, etc... (and there are those teachers out there!). I'm the type of teacher who writes things like: 8:20, walk to the white board in the front of the room, resting on the chalkboard, and use a black dry-erase marker to write the date at the top in large letters - the long date AND the short date. Do not write in cursive.

And the real lesson description hasn't even started yet. Then I have to add things like, "Joe won't do any work in math, but don't call him on it because then he will throw his pencil box at you and run out of the classroom." You know, little tidbits like that. Or, "Jessica might look like she's not listening to you, but if you say her name in class she'll start crying, and don't worry anyway, because just when you think she's not going to do a SINGLE thing, she'll race through the page and get them all right." Try to imagine describing how to do your job to someone who's never met you or your co-workers, has never stepped in your office, and has no experience doing your line of work. And do that while you're sick. At 5:30 in the morning. And try to remember where you left all your teacher manuals from the day before, because they're probably NOT on your desk. In fact, they're probably in your bag... on your kitchen counter. Eff.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE subs. They have saved me on my roughest days. BUT, it's kind of interesting to me that anyone off the street is qualified to "be me" for the day. People who have never stepped foot in my school, never mind my classroom can come chill with my kids. It creeps me out a little. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. But tired teacher moms can. Annnnd I choose sucking it up and lots of "silent reading time" vs. explaining my life, minute by minute between episodes of Super Why at 4 in the morning.